


Saiyans Don't Bite

by Engineerd



Series: Saiyans Don't [2]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Blood, Humor, Kakavege Week 2021, M/M, Saiyans being Saiyans, Teeth, prompt: Saiyan headcanons, tumblr: kakavegeweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 16:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30125352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Engineerd/pseuds/Engineerd
Summary: “Saiyans have fangs,” Goku said, looking over at Vegeta for confirmation. Vegeta nodded reluctantly. “Your dad had them when we first met.”“What? No, he doesn’t,” Trunks said, looking back at Vegeta. “You have regular teeth.”“They just get dull if you don’t regrow them regularly,” Vegeta said, shrugging. “Bit of a hassle.”
Relationships: Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball)
Series: Saiyans Don't [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2217009
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55
Collections: Kakavege week #10





	Saiyans Don't Bite

**Author's Note:**

> Content warning: saiyans pulling out and regrowing their teeth

“Ugh, I’m so bored! It’s just been so  _ long,”  _ Goku groaned, throwing himself down onto his lawn chair and placing the back of his hand on his forehead like a fainting actress. “Where’s all the action? Where are all the bad guys?”

Bulma’s eyebrow twitched. “Goku, this is a picnic.”

“I don’t know, I thought something would have happened by now,” Goku whined right over her “Like maybe somebody brings a dangerous friend, or we’d get a distress call from a cool planet-”

“What about a picnic screams action to you?” Bulma asked. “Was there a subliminal message in my invitation that I don’t know about?” 

“Nah, looked fine to me,” Krillin said from across the table.

“No, but - Bulma, something always crashes your parties,” Goku pointed out.

Bulma gasped. “That’s not true!” 

“Yes, it is!”

Next to Krillin, Yamcha shrugged. “It kind of is.” 

“Thank you,” Goku said emphatically.

“How dare you!” Bulma sniffed. “I throw great parties.”

“They’re great because bad people gatecrash them.” Goku was still pouting up at the sky. “I can’t believe I got dressed for  _ nothing.”  _

Goku was the only one there in battle attire - Goku’s was his orange gi, of course, but still. Even Vegeta, sitting on Goku’s other side, had a regular shirt and pair of pants on. Vegeta had been silent this whole time, but the vein on his forehead was throbbing visibly. 

Bulma looked over to where Chi-Chi was hovering over Goten and Trunks, who were making faces into their cups. “I bet Chi-Chi told you to dress like a normal person.”

“Oh no, I didn’t bother,” Chi-Chi shrugged. “I already got him to come to the picnic. You gotta pick your fights.”

“Yeah, and I haven’t had a good fight in  _ ages,”  _ Goku continued on. “All I want is a challenge, you know? No offense, guys.” 

“None taken,” Yamcha said. Vegeta was glaring at the ground with bared teeth, his face getting redder by the second. 

“I would even go for a paper cut,” Goku said. Vegeta’s eye twitched. “I feel like nothing even  _ tries _ anymore. Remember when paper used to be-”

Vegeta’s form blurred. Suddenly there was a loud  _ crack _ permeating through the air. Vegeta reappeared standing over Goku, retracting his fist. Goku was flat on the ground. 

_ “Vegeta!”  _ Bulma screamed. 

Vegeta unclenched his fingers and shook his wrist. “He was asking for it.” 

Goku sat up, making a horrible hacking noise before he finally spit a huge glob of blood and most of a tooth out on the ground. He looked delighted. “I was ashking for it,” he slurred, and then felt around the huge gap in his upper left teeth with his tongue. “Ow. You got me good, Vegeta.”

Krillin hissed. “That looks bad.” 

“Yeah, not fun,” Yamcha said. “Don’t worry, a dentist can fix it up - looks like you’ve still got the base of the tooth in there.”

“Ew, I hate going to the dentist,” Goku said. He reached up and prodded the base of the tooth with his fingers. “Just let me-”

There was another huge squelching noise as Goku wrenched out the second half of his tooth. Bulma screamed when he threw it on the ground. “EW! GROSS, GOKU!” 

“Dude!” Yamcha yelled. “Not a good call!”

Krillin’s face was green. “I think I’m going to be sick.” 

“Oh, don’t be a baby,” Vegeta snapped at all of them “You’re all grown warriors, you’ve never seen a tooth pulled out before?” 

“Genius scientist here,” Bulma reminded him. “In any case, why on  _ earth  _ would he have seen teeth pulled out? Why wouldn’t you leave that to a professional? His tooth would have been  _ fine.” _

Vegeta ignored her, looking down at the tooth remnants on the ground instead. “That was a canine,” he said, glancing up at Goku. “If you don’t also get the other one they’ll be uneven.” 

“Oo, good point,” Goku agreed, reaching back up to his mouth for the other side. 

“Oh my god,” Yamcha said. 

“Hey, wait-” Krillin said.

“GOKU!” Bulma screamed, and then when her words didn’t have any effect, “CHI-CHI! HELP!” 

Goku was already ripping out his other canine tooth on the other side. He threw it down on the ground and then loudly swallowed back the blood, grinning at them with stained teeth and two matching holes on the top. “It’ll grow back,” he pointed out, and then felt along his bottom row of teeth with his tongue. “Don’t know why you guys are so freaked out.”

Krillin had one hand over his mouth. “I’m definitely going to be sick.” 

“Uh, Goku?” Yamcha said. “They’re teeth. They don’t grow back.” 

They were unceremoniously ignored.

“Man, it’s been forever since I had a new set. Think I should go for all four?” 

Vegeta shrugged. “Might as well.” 

Further blood and screaming resulted. Bulma fled to take cover by Chi-Chi, who gave her a commiserating look. “As I said, pick your battles.”

“Saiyans.”

“Saiyans,” Bulma agreed weakly, hand over her mouth.

In the background, Goku titled his head as he felt around the new gaps in his mouth. Vegeta watched him and very narrowly dodged the fist that came flying his way a second. “You little sneak!”

“Aw, just missed.” Goku grinned. “Gotta get you back for that punch, don’t I?”

“You’re going to have to catch me first, gummy!”

Chi-Chi shook her head. “They deserve each other.”

* * *

One month later, Goku arrived back at Capsule Corp with his orange gi once more on and Goten hovering at his side. 

“Feels like Trunks and Vegeta are training together,” Goten noted. 

Goku smiled. “Good job! I feel that too. Come on, let’s go say hi.” 

They flew over to the gravity chamber, where Goku banged on the door loudly until there was a beep. The door finally flew open to reveal Vegeta on the other side, snarling. “What?” 

“Hi, Vegeta!” Goku said brightly. 

“Is that Goku and Goten?” he heard from inside the chamber, and then a slightly sweaty Trunks appeared under Vegeta’s arm. “Hi!” 

“Trunks!” Goten greeted. “I wanna join! Can we fight too?” 

“Yeah, Vegeta, can we fight too?” Goku said, smiling widely. 

Vegeta rolled his eyes. Trunks, however, caught a look at Goku’s mouth and dropped his jaw. “Whoa! Goku! You have fangs!” 

“Yeah, they finally grew in!” Goku said, and snapped his jaw once to demonstrate. 

“You look like Piccolo,” Trunks continued, pushing past his father and flying up in the air to get a closer look. “How’d this happen? Are they real? Did you wish for Namekian teeth or something?” 

“Saiyans have fangs,” Goku said, looking over at Vegeta for confirmation. Vegeta nodded reluctantly. “Your dad had them when we first met.” 

“What? No, he doesn’t,” Trunks said, looking back at Vegeta. “You have regular teeth.” 

“They just get dull if you don’t regrow them regularly,” Vegeta said, shrugging. “Bit of a hassle.” 

“Yeah, that’s true,” Goku said, and ran his tongue over the new points again. “It does feel good, though. I don’t think I’ve done all four since I was a kid.” 

“Are they useful for anything?” Goten asked. “You haven’t been acting different.” 

Goku’s eyes flickered from Goten to Vegeta. “Probably for a fight,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows and baring his fangs.

Vegeta flushed lightly. “If you try and bite me, Kakarot-”

“-it would hurt,” Goku interrupted. “What would you do if I bit you, Vegeta? Try to get me back with those dull little human teeth?” 

Vegeta narrowed his eyes, and then roughly shouldered past Goku and started stomping down the hall. “I am not doing this with you,” he announced, and then glanced over his shoulder to stare at them. “Inside.” 

“Yay!” Goten cheered. “Outside! Outside!” 

“I want fangs too!” Trunks announced, skipping over to Vegeta’s side. “Can we pull my teeth out too? Please, please-”

“What is this I hear about teeth?” Bulma interrupted, joining them from another room. “You guys better be being safe.” 

“Mom,” Trunks said, twirling around with wide starry eyes. “Look at Goku’s teeth! They’re so cool! They’re Saiyan teeth!” 

Goku grinned happily, his nose wrinkling as he showed off once Bulma looked over. Bulma jumped a little when she saw them. “Oh, wow, you haven’t looked like that since we were kids.” 

“I know,” Goku said happily. “We were going to take out Vegeta’s and Trunks’ in the yard.” 

“We’re not ‘taking’ mine like some sort of weakling,” Vegeta said, crossing his arms. “If and only if I lose one of the teeth in battle.” 

“You’re on,” Goku said. 

“We can pull mine!” Trunks interjected. “I want my fangs right away!” 

“We cannot pull yours,” Bulma said. “Human teeth don’t grow back, sweetie, we aren’t sharks like these guys. I don’t want you to take any chances.” 

Vegeta’s eyebrows furrowed. “The boy’s teeth grow back,” he said. “Remember when he was younger? He popped out a new tooth every day and the full set came back in.” 

Bulma stilled. “That’s different.” 

“How?” 

“Okay,” she said, rubbing her forehead. “Human teeth appear to grow back  _ once,  _ but only once, and the teeth were actually there the whole time, the baby teeth were just getting pushed out by the growing adult teeth.”

Vegeta squinted at her. “That makes no sense.” 

“Fangs, fangs, fangs, fangs!” Trunks chanted. 

“If Trunks is getting fangs, I want some too,” Goten said. 

“No fangs,” Bulma ordered, putting her hands on her hips, glaring at Goku and Vegeta especially. “I don’t care how shiny they are. They obviously don’t last forever and then you have to go through the pain of having to regrow teeth for weeks.” She looked pointedly at Goku. “Was not being able to chew regularly fun?”

Goku shrugged up at the ceiling, avoiding Bulma’s gaze. 

“That’s what I thought,” Bulma said. “No pulling teeth.” 

* * *

Pick your battles, Chi-Chi said. Well, Bulma lost this one. 

She ended up having to special order an entire dairy farm’s worth of extra milk, since Vegeta and Trunks came home that day missing a whopping 8 combined teeth and were guzzling anything with calcium like there was no tomorrow. Luckily, Trunks’ teeth did grow back - unfortunately for him, they came back in their usual height and sharpness. 

...Vegeta’s teeth though - well, she got the whole vampire appeal now. 

And if she and Goku were sporting some similar marks from the whole experience, she wasn’t going to point it out. 

“Glad the boys are having fun,” she said to Chi-Chi. Her returning wide smile, though fangless, would match any Saiyan in fear factor.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! hope you enjoyed!!!


End file.
